Sorry I've been dead air lately but with two jobs, volunteering/internship, school, trying to climb and trying to have a small social life I haven't 1. had much time to write and 2. haven't had the most interesting shit to write about.
But here's a funny little diddy for ya...
The weather is changing here in the Boulder bubble rapidly and fall is rapidly approaching (so exciiiiiited) which means that my skin is drier that the Sahara. So I head on over to Target, which is basically the only place that I ever shop, and went on a hunt for some lotion. I'm pretty particular about lotion because I don't really like a lot of them. They can't be too thick, or smell too sweet, or leave your skin feeling skanky. So I'm sniffing a few of them to see what lotion that I can deal with and finally I went for the good ol' faithful; Jergen's Original. So I buy my lotion, which is kinda weird to just buy lotion alone, but I didn't think that the cashier should be giving me the bull eye like he was.
I brushed it off and left.
I get into my car and catch a quick glimpse of myself in the rearview and almost die!! I have lotion smeared all over the tip of my nose like a total kook! hahahahah Story of my life.
Another interesting little thing is that Boulder is fire right now.. Literally a blaze just a few short miles away. The last fire that I witnessed here was a few years ago in the old apartment complex that I used to live at and on 4/20 (ironic??) both very intense!
I wake up this morning and all I can smell is smoke and I start to freak out a bit in my delirious sleepy head thinking, Holy crap did I leave the stove on?? So I pop up with the quickness of a lightning bolt and go investigate.
My stove is about three feet from my bed so I'm sure I would have been a crispy marshmallow long before I would have a chance to notice if I left the stove on. Than I hop on Facebook because for some reason the news on t.v. is much less reliable than my friends on FB! I get the scoop, there is a blaze through 4 mile canyon, the road to Nederland has been closed and 4 houses and fire truck had been destroyed by the fire. Now.. I know you are thinking the same thing, how did that fire truck become a casualty of the fire when he was there to help extinguish the bitch?? Idk either.
And the final kicker. Some people are funny, some people are rude, and other people are just plain dumb. So I'm working this evening and a party of three come into the restaurant. They sit down after scoping out the draft beer selection. I head over to the table and ask the folks if I can get them started off with a beer and one of the guys says with an Italian/French accent, "Ya, what is that Fattire' beer that you have?" I was totally stumped, never heard of it so I start looking around the restaurant at the bar and was thinking about starting to look under the ceramic tiles for what this guy was talking about. I thought he was talking about some kind of Champagne or Italian cupcake. So he keeps sounding it out, like four or five goes, "Fateer, Fashire, Fasheeray, Fattire" and than it hit me FAT TIRE!!!!! Omgggg C'mon Son!! Really? You can't read? Or you have never had the most popular local beer in Boulder/Colorado?? Geeezzz...
Reminded me of this one time that was working a super busy night and it was super loud (night club scene) and I get a typical sorositute at the bar, I ask what I can get her and she yells, "I need a shot of Pat Ron." Hmmmm... ummmm... is that a mixed shot I yell back?? She looks at me like I have 89 eyeballs and I'm mentally retarded for not knowing what she is talking about, like I have never heard of Jesus Christ or something. So she yells back with an attitude, "Pat-Ron." Still I'm thinking really hard and not getting it. Finally she points behind me and I see the bottle that she is pointing at... wait for it.. with a spanish tone.. Patro'n. Uhh ya. Sometimes I really worried for the future of this country.
