I got married.
I had a baby and bought a house.
Phil died.
I had another baby.
I'm getting divorced.
I'm devastated.
I found out Dane has been cheating on me for months after he took on a business venture with this whore. I stayed at home and took care of his children and dog while I worked full time and he galavanted around Newport Beach fucking this trifling married slut.
My heart immediately wishes I could talk to two people. 1. Phil 2. David. Both dead. I need to hear Phil's voice. I with I could hear him sternly tell me I need to leave and take care of my babies and that I am going to be ok. I wish I could hear David tell me he was going to do everything in his power to make me happy and take away my pain and make those fuckers pay for what they did.
I changed when I had Charlotte. I stopped drinking, I stopped smoking, and I learned how to reflect inward and find different ways of release. I love being a mother, it is the greatest job I have ever had. I love my babies more than anything in this world. That being said, I am fiercely over protective of them. I Mama Bear the fuck out of all the things.
My heart is once again heavy and I am trying to find a positive ray of sunshine in this tragic event. I lost my love, my partner, my best friend, my baby daddy, and the only person that really knows me.
I feel like every male I love dies. I feel like all of my relationships that I have been in are shit.
I started listening to this podcast: The Shameless Mom Academy and I'm hooked. I listed to one talking about positive thinking and I hear this quote and fell in love and it has carried me through some shit lately
